A week in the life of a YahooGroups list owner

It all started as an innocent hobby, this owning of a YahooGroup.
Eight years later, I now own 9 groups and help moderate 3, not including my business oriented ones. Dealing with the general public is not without its challenges, but those who enjoy sending and receiving list mail may not have any idea of what goes on "behind the scenes"... when you are the person responsible for making a YahooGroup fun and enjoyable for (almost) everyone.
In case you, or someone you love, are considering starting your own YahooGroup, you may wish to review the following guidelines for being a list owner from the LISTSERV
List Owners' Primer

Where do I, as list owner or list manager, fit in? What are my responsibilities?
You are the person in charge of maintaining the smooth, error-free operation of the mailing list. You define or maintain the policies against which message traffic on the mailing list will be judged. You control the behavior of the list and guard it from abuse and malfunction. You are the person on whom the world dumps its blame and scorn when things go wrong. In other words, you are providing a service to others and with this comes the curse upon all persons involved with the service industry.

Without further adieu, I bring you the true accounting of my last seven days as a YahooGroups list owner / moderator:

Day 1:
Log on to 15 messages waiting for approval from 5 different lists. It's my job to moderate posts by newer list members, to ensure things run smoothly. Two of the messages are completely off-topic for the lists, they are rejected with messages sent to the posters to "please stay on topic". I am instantly resented for my outrageous request. One of the two unsubscribes in a huff.
Eight of the messages are fine. After review, I approve them for distribution through the list. No one knows this.
Five of the messages have appropriate content, but are plastered at the top, the middle and bottom with multi-colored banner & text ads for the poster's list as well as other people's lists. In order to allow the content to go through ad-free, I must "edit" the messages online, which requires editing both the text and html parts of the message that contain the advertising, as well as removing the banner ads stuck all over the post, then review the posts again before approving them for distribution to the list. Again, no one knows this.

Day 2:
More messages waiting for approval. Repeat steps outlined in Day 1.
Two people have had computer crashes and have lost all their software. They e-mail me privately for help. I respond and provide them with requested materials.
List mail comes through one of my family-oriented lists that is highly objectionable by a non-moderated member. I immediately send a HUGE warning out to the list for members not to open the post. It was too late. Receive a "shame on you" post to the list from an upset member about the offending message. Despite my warning, have a very unhappy camper on my hands. I respond that I tried to warn them, but the poster was not being moderated and there was nothing I could do.
Two hours later, the offending poster sends something even more vile in, but this time I had them on moderated status and caught it before it went out to the group. I send them a private message requesting that they stop posting nasty things to a family list. They stop posting completely. You know, I don't think I'm very popular.

Day 3: More messages waiting for approval, repeat steps outlined in days one and two.
The friends with computer crashes are having yet more problems. More programs and tutorials are sent to help them out.
I receive a private message off list from a male member of one of my adult lists. He "thinks I'm hot" despite never having seen me and knowing nothing about me,
however he'd like to get to know me better and have hot monkey sex with me. I hit the delete button. Now I'm a frigid bitch! Spend the next hour in the shower washing the cooties off my brain.

Day 4:
More messages to approve. Rinse and repeat as in days 1, 2 & 3.
My computer crash people have disappeared, which leaves me a little time to look through my mail and read some things on the internet. I find two funny videos which I download and send to the people on my "Big List", which is a group of people who like receiving large, funny files that are too big to go through Yahoo's server. There are currently 45 people on my Big List who receive the two files.
One of the 45 people is using a pirated version of Windows XP. When they attempted to open the videos I sent in, their stolen software asked them for a Microsoft validation code (imagine that!). This instantly became MY FAULT. I was sent an e-mail containing more 4 letter words than a game of Boggle, and told to "stop sending me your f***ing garbage" amongst other "suggestions".
That really made my day. I secretly pray that the two videos I sent to them crash their pirated version of Windows XP and render their computer completely inoperable. I love the internet, it brings out the best in me.

Day 5:
Approve/edit/delete waiting messages with no explanation for why I unceremoniously deleted posts that are off topic or contain advertising.
Hard drive crash people still MIA. As is my brain.
I download my e-mail. The jerk with the pirated Windows XP sends me a large video
file. Apparently I'm still on their mailing list. I send them a mature and calm reply that reads, simply: "STOP SENDING ME YOUR F***ING GARBAGE" in

36 point type.

I think I broke my mouse from clicking send button so hard.

I receive another X rated e-mail from a different male list member to my private mail. They tell me what types of things "get them off" and what a hot babe I am. I'm so turned on by this, I feel like smacking my monitor. Mouse gets pushed hard again, this time on the delete button.

After lunch, a long standing list member sends in a joke to one of my adult lists that warns it has offensive content. Yes indeedy, it does! Another member is so highly offended that they post a nasty response containing the F word and referring to the list member as a bodily orifice and angrily unsubs.
Concerned that they might possibly turn the group in to the YahooGroups list Nazis, have all my groups shut down and my Yahoo ID revoked (this actually happened to me four years ago), I send them an explanation with an apology for their bad experience on the list. Turns out we know each other from another list. The offended member has calmed down by now, but for some reason replies to my private message to me AND the other public list we share. This causes mass confusion on the other list, with members getting angry at one another in their confusion. I now have four private e-mails waiting for me to explain something that had nothing to do with them.
It takes me over 48 hours to get through all the replies. I take the night off to relax and medicate my carpal tunnel symptoms with Advil which, in turn, gives me heartburn. I know the Tums are here somewhere but can't find them. I hobble off to bed with the fires of hell in my stomach.


Day 6:
Not many messages waiting, but that's because it's the weekend and NORMAL people are out actually doing things. It's snowing here, so I'm stuck inside.
I open a pending message from a member who has decided to "invite" list members from my yahoo group to their Yahoo group without first checking with me. All my lists have a no-advertising policy. I "reject" the post through Yahoo's server with a polite request for them to not advertise their lists on my list. The member immediately unsubs. I think they might be angry.
It's the end of the evening and I've had a tough week. Beaten down and burned out, I begin to type this missive. I decide I'm going to post it to my blog, as I'm sure other YahooGroups list owners have the same experiences I do. I think that perhaps my posting "a week in the life" will help someone else out there, even if it's only for them to know that misery loves company.
However, in typing this I realize that certain people will see themselves in this post and become furiously angry with me for expressing my feelings, even though names have been changed to protect the innocent (and a few devils). I suspect I will lose long-time internet buddies, some of my list members will unsubscribe in anger, and I might even get kicked off the other list where my personal mail went and caused a giant Ball 'O Confusion.

What I could use, instead, would be for someone to give me one good reason why I should continue to put myself through all this, because I think perhaps I need to have my head examined.
I would discuss all this with my therapist, but they just started an online support group and told me they don't have time for me in Real Life anymore. Their voice mail said "If you wish to speak to the doctor, please send a blank e-mail to
iamaddictedtotheinternet-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
or join our sister list iamagluttonforpunishment-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Have a wonderful day!".